I find depressing things funny.
PityIt's been a while my friends.
SORRY.
I probably should qualify my last journal entry called 'uncute'. I meant it. I'm really not very cute. but I have to reiterate- I *know* everyone feels that way from time to time. What I don't think people understand is that my happiness dosen't depend on weither I feel pretty or not. Sure, it's contributing factor to my overall happiness but it has never been the only basis to feeling good everyday. Just like a person wishes they were good at math or that they were taller, it's not really something you can change, and I have a firm belief that a person should work to be happy with themselves- and then make improvements. That way you know you're making the right changes, for the right reasons.
lol. Yeah right. I'm one to talk. Of course, it dosen't hurt that you guys have been so supportive of me- even those who have never seen a picture of me. And those of you who have, thank you for not being angry with me for beating down on myself for while. Again, everyone does it from time to time.
So in other news, I decided to cut off my hand this week. I was driving home from Harry Potter and I decided. Now all I need is enough dicipline to follow through. Ha. Harder than it seems. It's really a life changing decision. I won't elaborate here but in this case I wanted what I wanted and my brain says 'no'. I hate my brain. It has stopped me from lots of wonderful things in my life- from experiences that I need to help me grow into a normal person. I had the chance to throw myself into a bad (but wonderful) situation. Back and forth. How much harm could it really do? I mean, it's just ONCE. But I know it's wrong. and If my right hand could offend me- I have to cut it off. But if I was strong enough I would already be bleeding all over the place. But my hand in still mostly in place. I guess I'm just waiting for some magical doctor to come and replace it as soon as I cut it off- but no doctor in sight. I should just DO IT.
Did that make ANY SENSE AT ALL?
Ok fine so it didn't.
Last peice of depressing news...lol. .....XD.....ROFL I think my mother is remarrying my OLD STEP FATHER!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! HOLY CRAP WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN?!
I'm not going.
Thanks again yall, I'm sure I'll post soon enough.
(including commishes)What do you guys want to see?
love love.
~ V
Devious Comments
Ahem...
*Wierded Out*
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...He TRIIIED to kill me with a forklift!
About your mom remarrying your stepdad well they say love is blind and I know I was blinded by a guy I was in love with for years (even up to part of last year). We see what we want to in a person not what is always there. There was a reason it didn't work before. Now only if you could make your mom see that.
I so wish you had yahoo im so we could talk more often.
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$2 sketches $5 color
~PinkDarts ~SMFanFicManga ~senshilove =dapride
My fanfiction account: [link]
But I can assure you my mother dosen't do anything if it dosen't suit her own needs. She's sick. and that's what makes it so funny. Awful awful- so much so it makes me laugh. But I'm getting to be that age where I can't even pretend to support destructive choices like this- lol I'm her DAUGHTER for cripes sake! not her buddy! XD It's nice you think the best of people- I tend to do so too, but so you know, this woman is an exception to the rule.
Aw. I do have Aim but I only use it when I'm home (I'm at work now.) :weep:
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...He TRIIIED to kill me with a forklift!
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$2 sketches $5 color
~PinkDarts ~SMFanFicManga ~senshilove =dapride
My fanfiction account: [link]
And I hope I haven't ruined the metaphor by stating a conclusion outloud.
I think people were concerned about your last post because it was all you had to report about after coming back from Anime Expo. Perhaps if you state all the GOOD things you enjoyed and had fun doing at at Anime Expo, there'd be less concern. Unless it was just one of those moments where you needed a pity party, in which case, no problem. Still, I have one last comment. If Anime Expo makes you feel that way about yourself every year, then perhaps you shouldn't go. It costs a lot of money for one thing. So why are you paying money to beat on your self esteem? Now, THAT would be cutting off your right hand.
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MY Little Pony can kick your Barbie's @$$!!!!!!!!!
Grandma's could take over the world if they only knew how to use the internet...
I wanna go to God's Barbeque!
okay, whatever this thing is that you were thinking off, YOU BETTER INVITE ME! everybody always does stupid stuff without me. they don't invite me. EVER.
heaven help you if you do something stupid and I DON'T GET TO COME!
i have spoken.
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{061808}
"...Sometimes the things you believe in become more real to you than all the things you can explain away or understand"
As for the anime Expo- uh, I wrote 'uncute' almost 2 months before the convention.
I tend to idolize other girls- I have a keen eye for what's cute in everyone.
But honestly, in the middle of being in the maid cafe most of the worry about being gorgeous leaves. Just like when I perform on stage- I get horrible stage fright until I begin and then it disappears. But pictures :shudder: last forEVER. XP bleh. I wanna do Maid cafe forever. I'll just have to anticipate a little panic attack before the plunge and remember how much I enjoy making other people smile. You know me. I LOVE making other people smile.
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...He TRIIIED to kill me with a forklift!
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